Victor Vodka...

I sometimes wonder what people are thinking when they begin to drink. Yes, I have had wine, and rum for that matter, (I was legal for the second and the first time was an accident). However, I had 1 glass of wine and stopped (and will never do it again). But what I wonder is what goes on in the minds of those who continue. I understand that sometimes you need to escape. Fine. I'm not here to judge. But honestly, how drunk do you need to get before you say to yourself, "Hey, a bus! That looks like it could be fun!" By that point your brain can no longer hear the bells that signal "danger" and common sense has flown out the window! This is the curious case of Victor Vodka. Victor Vodka needed an escape, however, he got lost in a Bermuda Triangle of sorts. You see the bus, especially the 71, is the one place where you must absolutely keep your wits about you.
I'm sure when Victor decided to board the 71 completely inebriated, he thought he was doing a good thing. He was protecting the streets from one more reckless driver, he was protecting himself from any dangers of walking, and he was protecting his wallet from having to hail a cab. However, he forgot to protect himself from the dangers of 16 year old girls with babies! I kid you not. I witnessed this sweet young girl in the pharmacy as she picked up her child's prescription. I remember feeling sorry for her. She was clearly no more than 16 and had one of the smallest frames I have ever seen. I then waited at the bus with her. We rode peacefully until they signalled their stop. As her sister vacated the bus Victor thought it would be fun to lay his hand on her child. She promptly responded by knocking him upside his head! FOUR TIMES, all the while shouting keep your d*** drunk hands off of my kid, and the like! Then, because all of this was not signaling harm in any way he thought it would be smart to grab her phone. This sent her into a whipping frenzy and had her waylaying him up both side of his head! The girl's sister had to step in and the bus driver told him to keep his d*** hands to himself! They got off and another woman got on the bus with her kid. Victor, never being one for learning a lesson the first time decided to touch this woman's kid. She on the other hand was the more sensitive loving type! She smiled, "She's cute isn't she?" Victor, glad to see a kind response replied, "She certainly is!" She kinda chuckled and said, "Yeah, she goes through so many diapers everyday!" Then she looked him dead in the eye and said, "And if you don't take your d*** hands off her I'll see to it that you go through more diapers than she does!", took her Baby Phat purse and pummeled him upside his head! This set off the bus driver who told him to take his seemingly sloshed self to the back of the bus before she kicked his tanked tucous off her bus! By the time I got off at Linwood and Prospect, *mind you this should only be a 15 minute ride*, he had been threatened by three more guys. I honestly don't feel bad for Victor. He did it to himself. Afterall, it was his decision to get completely plastered. And when delirium tremens set in, and I can assure you it did, he realized what a ghastly mistake he made by making vodka his choice of extrication. Because you see, he now looks like a banana after it's been dropped, kicked and left out in the sun. But mainly because he has absolutely no idea how he got that way! Perhaps next time Victor should stick with a beer. :)